Whores of Hollywood

Since we’re all here appreciating the existence of super-hot MILFs everywhere, where, asks my nagging brain, is the mother of all MILFs for fuck’s sakes? You crowd around and ask me who the hell. And that’s when I sigh at how forgetful you’ve all been and flash you some nice titty pictures of a naked Pamela Anderson. Yeah, that MILF, bitches.

Before she was reduced to appearing in nightclubs and events no one gives a shit about, Pamela Anderson was seen more naked than she was clothed. Other than making breast implants a common Hollywood thing (which we should all be thankful for), Pamela Anderson also broke new grounds (also her pussy) for having the most well-known sex video in celebritydom. Sure the video quality was shit, but we would all be jacking off to badly acted porn if it weren’t for Ms. Anderson’s love for cocksucking on camera.

And that body, goodness gracious. I wouldn’t be exclaiming like my grandma here if Pamela Anderson didn’t flaunt a perfectly curved body and a pair of tits that are still holding up well even at the ripe age of 43. Then again, she wouldn’t be called a MILF if not for the age. Still, she would still be fucking hot either way.

Vivica A. Fox. The name alone sounds like a pornstar who features a lot in hardcore anal sex and gives noisy blowjobs while she rubbed her loose-hanging clit. Unfortunately, Vivica A. Fox is not a pornstar, but a respectable Hollywood celebrity. Fortunately, she’s also sexy and is no stranger to shedding her clothes and baring her copper skin for the cameras.

But with looks like that, Vivica Fox should have taken the hint when her parents named her like that and got herself into porn. With an ass that looks ready for a cock-pumping, a tramp stamp that screams slut, and a cleavage that is in desperate need of a titty fuck, I say Ms. Fox is in a bad career path. I wouldn’t be surprised if she hit a dead-end somewhere with that job of hers. Pff, actress indeed.

But we shouldn’t discount the fact that Vivica A. Fox is trying to make the best out of living a softcore career in entertainment. These perfectly sexy lingerie pictures of her are enough to see she does have what it takes to fill out the shoes her smut-loving parents gave her. Her agent should hook her up with more hardcore movies so we can stop with all this foolish business of seeing her in clothes and see her naked. Dammit.

Well if you were this hot and so willing to get naked, Jenn Sterger shouldn’t be surprised pervs like Brett Favre tried to woo her with pictures of his dick. I would assume, based on her sexy nude pictures, that Jenn Sterger is the type of babe who always wears extra short skirts and always has her shirt unbuttoned just enough for a nice cleavage sighting and for her to pull out a condom in between her tits whenever the need arises. Basically, Jenn Sterger is a slut.

A sexy slut who doesn’t know how to properly respond to receiving pictures of a guy’s rod. The proper response sequence should go like this. Rub cunt to pictures. Reply to sender with pictures of you fingering said cunt. Phone sender for a hookup. Have said cunt get fucked by sender’s actual cock. Rinse and repeat. Oh, and the most important step: accidentally leak pictures of said cunt.

But these nude titty pictures of Jenn Sterger should suffice for the moment. Since Jenn’s being a cocktease and denying she didn’t rub one out to Brett’s crotch shots, we’ll have to wait for awhile before she outs herself as a true blue whore. And when that day comes, we’ll be waiting with our own cocks at the ready, right guys?

The guys over at Glee joined New Directions for the right reasons. They joined because they loved to sing. Because they wanted to make themselves better people. Because they were secretly gay. Or something. But if Lea Michele ever walked through the school corridors wearing tight, white panties while sucking on a lollipop like a bad choir chick, guys will stand in line for audition for all the bad reasons possible.

Like chancing upon Lea Michele in the locker room, straddling a bench with her legs spread so widely apart you can just slide your ass over and stick your cock inside her. Or like spying on her bent over her locker, ass out, while she licked a lollipop with apparent relish. Or like catching her just senselessly ripping her top off to reveal her fine Hebrew hooters nestled so finely in a lacy white bra. You know, one of those things.

Unfortunately, Glee will never be interesting enough to wait for an episode like that to manifest itself on our TV screens. Thank God we at least have Lea Michele volunteering to live out our kinky locker room fantasies, huh?

Heh, I wonder what car wouldn’t bust a tire with those tight ass and tits in tow. Reality star and glamour model Cara Zavaleta is back on the road with these teasing upskirt pictures after starring on the reality show Road Rules. This time though, she adds a hint of skanky in her photoshoot, wearing a too-short skirt while bent over rolling a tire and kneeling down to pop it in. Yeah, sounds like I’m describing something out of porn, but it might very well be, because Cara Zavaleta’s upskirt pictures are doing things to my meat shtick that only porn usually could!

Cara Zavaleta is also giving me a few Minka Kelly vibes right here, which is awesome. I know she isn’t hardcore enough to flash us her pussy, so while Cara Zavaleta may be the poor man’s Minka Kelly, I’m hardly complaining about it since I’m the poor man with the naughty upskirt pictures! How’s that for one-upping the assholes?

But enough bragging. Cara Zavaleta needs a hand lifting her skirt—uhhh no, changing a flat. Oh hell, no, the flat tire is just a scheme, and the pussy flashing shots are there to draw us in. But come on, Cara, you didn’t have to fuck up your car! A simple pussy peek was enough!

Having cravings for one chocolate tit? How about two? You people are in for a treat, because some lucky paparazzo found the perfect spot to take pictures of Rosario Dawson’s caramel boobies in an angle that needs to be done for all stolen pictures of chicks! Amirite?!

Seriously, seeing Rosario Dawson’s mammaries from atop just completed my day. This is the reason God made tits! Celebrities should walk around bent low so guys won’t have to crane and break their necks looking for the sweet spot in their dresses. Rosario Dawson was even pleasant about getting perved up by the peeping tom who got lucky and gave us pictures of her huge cleavage. Bitch probably got tittyfucked previously and was left in a pleasant mood.

And who wouldn’t tittyfuck her? Sometimes a chick’s boobs are too large to ignore during sex that not even a grope can satisfy. No, you have to stick your cock in between those plush puppies, hump her like mad and let your cum shoot on her open mouth! That’s how you make proper use of a huge pair of tits!

Man, if these cleavage pictures of Rosario Dawson are already making me ramble on about pervy stuff, imagine what they’d do to you guys. I’m steering clear.

I’m missing out on a lot for not being at these car shows and witnessing cute, Asian chicks in their skimpy outfits. Hwang Mi Hee is definitely making me regret it (and also making me stiff in the penis region). Also, these Asians having some sort of school uniform fetish is getting to me hard (again around my cock parts). I just love seeing Hwang Mi Hee taking the spotlight to herself and nearly flashing us her pussy in that ridiculously short skirt. The outfit is probably made like that so Hwang Mi Hee can lure some horny Asian businessman in the backseat of one of those cars and get fucked in the ass without much trouble.

And I bet once Hwang Mi Hee is in that car with a suit, she’ll stop being cute and charming and just pounce on the guy’s dick. But poor slut, getting her fill of hardcore sex from some Asian man’s tiny dick. This chick should definitely go here to get to where all the pervs with the big dicks are, and she’ll be immensely satisfied.

But then, there’ll be no pictures of Hwang Mi Hee teasing her pussy to jack off to. She’ll be wasted hooking up at the ho stroll in LA getting penetrated by drunk idiots who don’t know how to properly appreciate Asian pussy. So yeah, she can stay where she is and just keep flashing us that pussy.

What would a lonely babe like Eliana Franco do on a Friday night at home? She could take out the vibrator and rub her cunt until she orgasms. She could clean the house to loud pop music and take the vibrator after for a spin in her cunt. She could invite over a couple of girlfriends and ask them to bring their vibrators over. All of these sound like awesome plans, except Eliana Franco thought of something better: put up a webcam show of her wetting her shirt and stripping off! How’s that for generous?

Start taking notes ladies. Boredom should always be handled this way. The idea of fingering yourselves in the dark is a sexy thought, but yeah, it’ll remain an unknown fantasy forever. At least Eliana Franco gave us the pleasure of streaming her naughty sexual habits. Habits like randomly pouring a jug of water down your tits with your shirt on, then going nude and dancing? Yes please!

If servers didn’t crash the night Eliana Franco put on this strip video, then I’m calling the world hypocrites. You have to be a tard not to spot a hot slut willing to sell her pussy and pounce on it right away!

Why are all the hot moms in South America? We’ve been featuring a lot of these gorgeous Latina MILFs recently, but I think Patricia Navidad topped them all just now. This busty cougar from Argentina is making a living out of showing her huge mama tits for the camera and seducing young, defenseless guys like me, and so far, it’s working! I’d cross the border in reverse to fuck these sexy MILFs, only I’ve already spent my load jacking off to Patricia Navidad’s pictures alone.

Just have a look at those sideboobs she’s teasing. Even at that age, MILFs like Patricia Navidad still know how to play coy. I know behind that piece of cloth is a pair of pointed titties needing my tongue licking them wet. And also underneath all that covering is a shaved, Latina pussy that’s also in desperate need of a little tongue wagging. I know so because I’ve seen the rest of Patricia Navidad’s naked pictures, and you’d better believe that she’s itchy down there alright.

Even so, these sultry titty pictures of Patricia Navidad are enough for me to carry my fantasies off to a happy ending. No other MILF but a Latina MILF like her can do it to me quick and heavy.

These English teens, they sure learn early, huh? I know Emma Rigby isn’t that naturally busty, but her sexy bikini pictures say otherwise. I don’t care if these chicks modify their tits by pumping it with shit or pushing it up with a bra, but as long as the end-product is a pair of bouncing, meaty chesticles, call me sold! Emma Rigby’s boobies are looking especially sexy and nearly bursting from inside her kinky latex bikini.

These pictures of Emma Rigby’s knockers are giving me hallucinations of fingering her cleavage and motorboating her until she begs for something more hardcore. A little titty fuck might make her moan, but I know what these sexy British chicks want: it’s a straight up fuck in the cunt! And Emma Rigby looks like she wants it in the pool! I’ll fuck her cunt until she squirts herself dry, then blow my load in between her sweet teen titties. I just hope I can keep myself from cumming long enough to do that.

I probably can’t though, because seeing Emma Rigby’s tempting melons in a bikini are making me too stiff with pleasure. You could try though.